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“There’s this vibe of ‘well if it’s not working, you’re just not doing it right!’” she says. It wasn’t easy to admit that this beloved progressive parenting method hadn’t worked for her. “And so for a long time, I saw his eating as a problem that needed to be fixed.” Earlier this year, Evie wrote about why she broke up with DOR for Romper. “I thought the promise of DOR was that, at some point, your child will be ‘fixed,’” she says. Then she watched, quietly panicking, for years, as he. Dutifully sticking to her responsibility to decide “what kids eat,” Evie served her son a perpetual variety of vegetables and grain salads, all the while insisting he didn’t have to eat them. Done.īut I get why, for Evie and many other parents, DOR becomes a kind of diet. No food pushing, no coercing, no portion-controlling. My kids decide how much of that meal they want to eat. As a parent trying to escape diet culture, DOR has so often felt like the answer because it helps us to stop policing our kids’ bodies. And I’ve endorsed it plenty of times right here in this newsletter.

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Amy Palanjian and I also spent many episodes of our former podcast dissecting how to implement DOR, and those conversations have informed Amy’s work as a kid food influencer. I did a deeper dive in my first book, and wrote about DOR again for the NYT Parenting section in 2019. I wrote about DOR for the New York Times Magazine in 2016 when I told the story of our baby who couldn’t eat. Within the past 10 years, DOR has moved from a niche technique to mainstream feeding philosophy-and that’s thanks in part to Instagram.įull disclosure: It’s also, a teeny bit, thanks to me. Her method has long been championed by pediatric dietitians and childhood feeding experts eager to get parents to break with the more punitive “clean your plate” model of child feeding.

Ellyn Satter is a dietitian and family therapist who developed the DOR framework more than 30 years ago and has since published many books and case studies supporting it. If you’re not familiar with DOR, it’s worth clicking the link above to read about it straight from the source. And lots of the moms who endorsed DOR held up their now-6, 7 or 8-year-olds as proof: “I bought into a lot of testimonials that these kids had all been picky toddlers and were now eating what their parents ate,” Evie says. “I loved that it gave me permission to let myself off the hook in these ways,” says Evie. DOR, as it’s more commonly known, guides parents away from pushing bites and nagging kids to eat, while also empowering them not to play short order cook for picky eaters. Thank you so much for supporting independent anti-diet journalism!īutter for your Burnt Toast Did Instagram Ruin the Division of Responsibility?Įvie turned to her mom friends for advice-a community she describes as “very brainy, but not into over-achieving or perfection”-and they all told her: You need Ellyn Satter’s Division Of Responsibility In Feeding. This discount gives you all of the paid subscriber perks for just $4 per month or $40 for an annual membership, for the first year. Last thing! If you decide to subscribe this week, you can take 20% off your subscription by clicking here. And you can read more about my decision to add paid subscriptions to the newsletter here. If you have a question you’d like me to answer in one of those episodes, you can hit reply and send it over. Paid folks, don’t worry, you still get cool perks! The current list includes commenting privileges, our awesome Friday Threads, and Virginia Q&A episodes, which will continue to drop once or twice a month. So I’m thrilled that the support of paying subscribers is now making it possible for me to make even more Burnt Toast content accessible to all. It hasn’t been sitting right to be keeping brilliant guests behind a paywall, especially when I’m featuring folks whose voices need to be centered. We decided to get the band back together to talk about Halloween candy because The Most Sugar-Phobic Time Of The Year is almost upon us! We want you and your kids to eat all the Snickers without feeling weird about it.Īnd in the spirit of giving out candy-this week’s audio newsletter will go out to everyone! Audio newsletters have historically gone out to paid subscribers only, but I’ve decided to switch that up and make all guest episodes free. Some of you will know her as my former podcast wife and she last visited Burnt Toast here. This Thursday, I’m doing a Very Special Episode of the audio newsletter with Amy Palanjian of Yummy Toddler Food.

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